MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING

IFC Films
PG

Family, the place where we get our sense of identity. Family, a term that has changed in meaning over the past 50 years. Family, a somewhat vague term that can be defined in many ways. Family, the people to whom you relate and are related. 

Discussion questions

• Start off your discussion by asking the group to put themselves in Toula’s place. What does she wish she could change about her family? What does she appreciate about them? What does she love about them?

• How does Toula's perception of her family change over the course of the film? Does she have a better or worse relationship with them at the end than at the beginning? What has caused the change in perception?

• How does Toula change by the end of the movie? Does all of the change happen before she meets Ian? If she changes in any way after they meet, how?  

• Ask everyone in your group to describe their family. Most of your group may know the makeup of the immediate families of the other people, so encourage them to describe their extended families. Point out and celebrate the diversity in your group, and also acknowledge those situations that are tough. 

• If there is sufficient trust in your group, explore what each person appreciates about their family. Ask what they would change about their family.

• Ask what they love about their family. (Remember, this might be tough for some of the youth. Be sure to allow enough space for conversation while paying attention to when you might need to move the discussion along. Also, be attentive to any issues you might need to follow up on. Allow people to "pass" without explanation, pressure or questioning if they seem hesitant, uncomfortable or upset. Follow up afterwards to see if they want to talk in confidentiality or could use some support and care. )

Biblical texts to use in your discussion
Look over some or all of the following scripture references of family (or brothers and sisters—NRSV):

Ruth, especially chapter one
Matthew 25:31-46, especially v. 40
Matthew 19:27-30, especially v. 29
Mark 3:31-35
John 2:1-12
Galatians 1:1-5
Galatians 6:10
Ephesians 3:14-15
1 Corinthians 8:12
Romans 15:14
1 Corinthians 1:10-17

• In light of Ruth (and Ian), consider the question: How much would you give up for someone you love?

• Jesus has some things to say about family that might be tough to hear. How does the picture of Jesus at the wedding in Cana fit together with the Jesus’ sayings about leaving family behind in some of the other readings? Does Jesus really mean what he said? If so, what does that mean for you?

• Paul often uses family language, ‘brothers and sisters,’ when he is writing to the churches in different places. How is it that Paul is related to so many people? Who are you related to beyond your immediate community? How?  

• Check out the service of Holy Baptism (Lutheran Book of Worship, page 121-125). What kind of family do you see in the welcome from the congregation at the very end of the service?

• What does the family of God look like?
  How is it similar to or different from Toula’s family?
  How is it similar to or different from Ian’s family?
  How is it similar to or different from your family?

• Where is God in this movie?

Close in prayer mentioning those things we desire for our families, give thanks for, need guidance in, and could use blessings on.