Learning Activities

Talking together: starting a conversation group

You may always have known about the power of conversation in the church’s life. Perhaps one of your parents used to be part of late night “meetings after the meetings” at the local family restaurant, where a cup of coffee and a piece of pie cemented together the relationships that formed their congregation’s leadership. Or perhaps you’ve noticed over and over again that conversation-based planning methods are efficient and effective in almost any setting.

For you hardcore pragmatists out there: As a method for decision-making, conversation is exquisitely practical. Why? Conversation is more closely tuned to the way our brains work. Planning is based on decision-making, and most decisions are made with an emotional quick-check as their starting point. Logical-sequential reasoning occurs in the brain only after the matter passes a quick danger/opportunity checkpoint (at the amygdala) and after the brain’s memory center (hippocampus) gathers relevant material from memory maps. Another way to state this idea: In true conversation, these fundamental brain mechanisms for decision-making operate more efficiently.

A few added points to consider:

• In moments of conversation, people come to trust each other’s basic intent, know each other’s excellences, see each other’s appreciation.
• Conversation dispels the chemicals of fear–and probably those of stress as well.
• Conversation connects many structures and functions of the brain into focused states of awareness that some social scientists call “mindfulness.” 

You’re convinced?  Then let’s see how you might start lifestyle education with some conversation.

• Schedule your first group (circle) meeting at a time and place when natural and free-flowing conversation can take place easily. Food and a relaxed atmosphere always help.
• Select three or four carefully considered questions or matters for mutual sharing. You can probably find some good starter questions in the pages of Sustaining Simplicity. Remember that conversation is not the same as discussion.
• Keep notes about the tone of the conversation and your observations about the state of mind of each of the participants. Don’t worry about “good ideas for us to work on” quite yet.
• Distribute copies of Sustaining Simplicity and suggest a set of entries for participants to read before your next conversation together.
• Begin and end the meeting in conversation with God. Take “prayer” beyond reading pro forma prayers out of a devotional book.