What Issues Can I Address with a Mentoring Partner?

"And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water." Jesus said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water. " (Matthew 14:28-29)

The story of walking on water is a mentoring story. Jesus approaches on the water in the night, in the fourth watch--a technical term in Hebrew--the bewitching hour, a time when all that we fear and can't control is at large. Peter wants to give it a shot. Jesus is never more a mentor than when he invites Peter out of the safety of the boat. "Come!"

Who is inviting you out of the boat these days? Who is agitating for your spiritual maturity? So let's build a plan to walk on water through a one-to-one mentoring pair. Keeping in mind the mentoring relationships already present in your own life, and remembering where people already gather in church and community, let's think together now about some possible areas where a mentoring relationship could be put to use. Be sure to add your own ideas. Remember that your congregation is ready to provide the training and ideas about resources to help you get started. (See the Congregational Manual for more information about these mentoring pairs.)

1. Leadership Development.

Perhaps you are a leader in your congregation. It is your job to recruit new leadership or train your successor. Consider forming a mentoring pair with new or potential leaders. In such a relationship you can not only share your spiritual journeys with each other, but you will be able to help the new leader understand the task before him/her and give insight into how that task might be carried out.

2. Welcoming New Members and Encouraging Their Spiritual Gifts.

A chance to form a mentoring pair might be a good "next step" for someone who has just joined the congregation. You might agree to meet with a new member for four to eight mentoring sessions. In this way you can serve your congregation by becoming a "ministry coach." Following training, you might meet with your partner to share your faith journeys, parts of Scripture that deal with spiritual gifts (such as I Peter 410; 1 Cor. 12; Ephesians 4) and baptism, the particular gifts of the new member, and/or opportunities in the congregation to use those gifts.

3. Confirmation and Preparing For the Sacraments.

You can serve your congregation by offering to be a partner with and adult preparing to reaffirm his/her baptismal vows. You might join the confirmands and pastor (perhaps with the confirmands family) to shape a covenant describing the material to be covered, assignments to be completed, and a time from for the process.

4. Marriage Preparation and Enrichment.

You might want to help your parish by offering the wisdom gained in your marriage with someone about to be married. Husbands can covenant with husbands-to-be; wives with wives-to-be to explore some of the dimensions and questions concerning Christian marriage. In three to five sessions you might cover topics like the wedding; the first year; spiritual enrichment of marriage; communication; mutual goals for the marriage.

You might form a mentoring relationship with your spouse. In our over-busy world, a structured approach to marriage conversation might help those conversations happen. You might want to explore issues such as areas of stress (time; money; sex; extended family and friends are statistically the biggest ones); study of scripture relating to marriage; exploration of dreams and goals for the marriage; the spiritual journey of each spouse.

5. Accompanying the Chronically ID, the Bereaved, the Hospitalized, the Dying.

"When you are flat on your back you have no other choice but to look up." It is a fact that life's trouble and tragedy also present us with "teachable moments" in the faith. We become vulnerable, we question God, we look at our mortal limits. You may have the compassion and experience to be a companion for someone "in the valley."

6. Mutual Spiritual Growth in Work, Daily Life.

Your ministry as a baptized child of God is a daily walk with Jesus, wherever you live, work or play. Some have suggested that the public worship of the church is a lot like campaign headquarters, with the campaign being the incoming Reign of God in the world. We gather to lick our wounds, get inspiration for the campaign, reaffirm our loyalty to it, plan tactics, and then return to the world. "Go in peace, serve the Lord," is not the end of the liturgy, but a transition for its continuation in the world through you. As a way to help equip you for the campaign of Christ in the world, your pairing with another baptized child of God for mutual growth can be a great help.

7. Spiritual Conversation With Unchurched Friend, Co-worker, Neighbor, Relative.

One of the most spiritually rewarding things you might ever do is to share your faith with a spiritual seeker who is apart from the church community. You can either offer a spiritual mentoring relationship with someone known to you, or you can make yourself available to your congregation who will provide you with training and connect you with a spiritual seeker.

Spiritual seekers can be found among those who visit your congregation, among those you live and work with. Relatives or friends at various points in their lives may seek to know more about God, Scripture, things of the Spirit, the Church.

If you are willing to enter into this mentoring ministry with spiritual seekers your training will include mentoring stories from Scripture such as Jesus and Mary and Martha; Peter and Cornelius; Jesus and Nicodemus; Jesus and the woman at the Samaritan well; Philip and the Ethiopian, and many others. Training in this kind of evangelical mentoring should include an overview of Scripture, its central message and prominent themes; an overview of the small catechism; practice in articulating your own faith story and spiritual journey, and much prayer for the Holy Spirit's guidance.

8. Spiritual Direction: High School Seniors, College Graduates, Post Confirmation

Confirmands and high school and college graduates are in a position to not only appreciate concrete and practical advice, but also might seek a chance to explore the future with those who are able to listen and offer hard earned wisdom. Perhaps you would be willing to enter a mentoring pair with a young brother or sister in Christ.

For confirmands the mentoring issues could include high school life, peer pressures and the choices facing young people, introduction to "the world of work," arenas of service within the church, spiritual growth.
For high school graduates mentoring issues could include introduction to "the world of work, " vocational choices, the world of college, future directions, continued spiritual formation, maintaining ties to the church.
For college graduates the mentoring issues could include vocational choices, spiritual gifts, the vocation of Christians in the world, active participation in the Christian congregation, the life of a Christian steward.

9. Helping Inactive Members Explore Faith Issues.

Your congregation may have a variety of shepherding programs, ways of keeping in touch with inactive members. These programs, however, may not offer the opportunity to explore spiritual or life issues with the ones who have been away for a time. The Holy Spirit is always working in the lives of people. As members of church we have much to offer and much to learn, by sitting down and listening to those who have become inactive and absented themselves from our congregations. Your willingness to form a mentoring pair with someone who has been away from the community of the church for a time can help the church convey this message, "We miss you, we want you back, but we would also like to take the time to hear you. What's been going on in your life? What are your thoughts about your experience with out church? How's your soul? If you tell us, we'll listen and join the conversation. "

These are only some opportunities for one- to-one ministry. You have many more. What would you add to the list? Which would you pick to do first? Remember that in every mentoring pair each has something to give and something to learn. As you think and pray about these opportunities remember the stormy sea and the Loved One approaching on the water.

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Written by: Stephen P. Bouman

Copyright © by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 8765 W. Higgins Road, Chicago, IL 60631. 800/638-3522.  Produced by Christian Education of the Division for Congregational Ministries.

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