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When you form a mentoring pair with someone it begins a relationship. Like all relationships it is important that those involved have some basic agreements and commitments between them. You and your mentoring partner have already written down some thoughts about issues you would like to cover, time you are willing to spend, and resources you may need. It is now time to meet with your mentoring partner and begin to shape the relationship through a "Mentoring Covenant." Talk over the following issues and come to agreement about them. Time Commitments: How much time are you willing to commit to the process? How many meetings will you have? When and where is the best time to meet and how much time should you spend at each meeting? When will you begin and end the process? Be flexible and open to one another as you shape the process. Example: One of the mentoring relationships I described in this manual was with Ray, a real estate broker who was interested in exploring how he could use his daily work to help the church in its ministry. I was interested in learning more about affordable housing. We decided to meet once a week for five sessions. We met at noon for lunch at a nearby diner for an hour and a half. In another mentoring relationship I met with another clergy once a month for a year to explore spiritual issues. We met at seven thirty in the morning over coffee and the meeting lasted one hour. Coordination with the congregation and the pastor: Who will arrange for training? Who will check out resources? Who will keep the pastor or Parish Mentoring Task Force informed about the process? Example: A member of a parish I served agreed to begin a mentoring pair with an unchurched colleague at work. He arranged for and received training. With his colleague's permission he met with me as the pastor three times during their mentoring process and I was able to provide input and resources. At the end of the session I contacted his colleague and invited him to continue his spiritual exploration by participating in the life of our congregation. In another instance the Sunday School director agreed to mentor a new Sunday School teacher once a week for two months. Both agreed to a initial training session. The superintendent used the Learning Committee of the parish for resources and consulted twice with the pastor during the process. Issues to be covered: What issues would you like to explore at this point in your spiritual journey? For which particular issues, decisions, burdens from your daily life would you like spiritual support? What particular insight and experience do you bring to the relationship? What is the growing edge of your faith and vocation to follow Jesus? Explore these things together and come to some agreements about how you want to focus your time together. Example: A member of the congregation I served wanted to begin a mentoring pair with a fellow worker at the factory concerning baptism. The young man was seventeen years old and his fifteen year old wife had just had a baby. The issues between them included baptism, church membership, nurture of children. My role included coming out to the factory and leading several sessions on baptism with both of them. The baby was baptized at our congregation, and our member was a proud godfather, standing at the foot with his colleague and family. The network of mentoring relationships undergirded that baptismal grace in the Holy Spirit's power. Evaluation: How will you know if your needs or your partner's are being met by the relationship? How will you evaluate the process and build on it when you have finished? How will you share what you have done with the congregation? What are the next steps, if any? It is important that you build an evaluation process into your work together. Example: One of the members of a congregation I served wanted to explore the possibility that he had a vocation to the ordained ministry. We agreed to meet once every other week for three months. We agreed to evaluate after the second session whether to continue and what issues to explore. We agreed that our goal for the process would be for him to either apply for entrance to seminary as a candidate or devise an alternate plan for ministry. Our final evaluation included agreeing on the next steps in his vocational formation. He entered a program which led to his becoming a deacon. Prayer: It is important for the mentoring pair to explore the networks of prayer which undergird the process. You and your partner should commit yourselves to daily prayer for one another and for the process between you. As you begin the process the congregation will remember you in prayer at a public liturgy. Prayer reminds us that it is Jesus who meets us on the road. When you have reached agreement on these and other pertinent issues, you should commit your agreement in writing and share your covenant with the pastor and\or the Parish Mentoring Task Force. See Sample A: A Mentoring Covenant for an example of what your covenant might look like.
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